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Post by debateman on Nov 2, 2007 0:31:02 GMT -5
Okay, I feel stupid for even asking this, but I can't seem to come to a decision. Normally I have impeccable judgment about these things, but it's my life, and I'm afraid that I lack the objectivity.
So there's this guy (doesn't it always start out like that?), and he's really smart and cute and nice. Not the whole package because I don't buy that it exists, but close enough for me to be satisfied. We are both about to be Second Semester Seniors at two different colleges, 5 hours apart. We've spent some time together and it's great when we are together, but this long distance thing is killing me (not like that... I'm not a big whore, just a little one).
I'm getting the feeling that he wants to get closer and he's asking me about where I'm thinking about relocating for my Masters/Juris Doctorate so that he can get a job there.
I like him. Hell, I might even be in love with him, but I'm not going to be able to dedicate my full time and energy into a relationship until I've passed the CPA and the Bar.
So what to do? (This is your part. Tell me what you are thinking and don't hold back!)
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Post by jq on Nov 2, 2007 0:33:35 GMT -5
Communicate! He needs to know where your priorities are, and then it is up to him if he is okay with that or not, right? If he isn't, he isn't your man. If he can understand that, maybe you found the right guy
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Post by debateman on Nov 2, 2007 0:42:05 GMT -5
*le sigh* Communication? I hate that! LOL
He knows my plans. He understands that I graduate with my bachelors in May. He knows that I am planning on doing a joint law/masters of accounting program. It's not like he doesn't know that I'm going to be super swamped. I want him to follow, thats flattering, but I don't want him to miss out on a great opportunity just to live close to me. I guess what I'm getting at is that I wouldn't follow him, but how do you tell someone that?! It's not that I don't like him, because I do. Hell, it's like I said, I might be in love with him, but I'm not going to sacrifice my dream/future to follow anyone and I'm afraid that he'd be settling in a crappy job just to be close. I don't want that for him.
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Post by jq on Nov 2, 2007 1:08:00 GMT -5
Still-- I mean, you are going to hate me for emphasizing this AGAIN, but-- you have to let him know all this. This is all stuff he needs to know if he is going to be able to make any kind of well-informed decision concerning having you in his life.
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Post by debateman on Nov 2, 2007 1:10:52 GMT -5
I guess that I just haven't found the pleasant way to have this conversation. I don't want it to be a "we're done" conversation. I want to be more like a "you're empowered" conversation. I'd be sad if he left, but he needs to do whats right for him cause I'm gonna do whats right for me. How do I say that without sounding as self-centered as I apparently am. (Damn, I sound like an ass at times... LOL)
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Post by Kizzume on Nov 2, 2007 1:55:31 GMT -5
I guess some questions are: How serious is he about college? Does he like college at all? Is he looking for an excuse to get out of going?
If he IS really serious about college, then I would have to say that the stance that has been mentioned above seems to be the best. If he is NOT really serious about college, and he was ready to leave it already and was just wanting an excuse, maybe it could work out. The problem is--if he really IS serious about college but also really wants to get serious with you, he may be throwing away logic for emotion and could easily state that he really was trying to find an excuse, even if before he met you he wasn't.
I'm probably complicating things even more, so I should shut up now.....
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Post by debateman on Nov 2, 2007 1:57:58 GMT -5
Well, I graduate in May with my Accounting degree. He graduates in May with his electrical engineering degree. So yeah, smart kid. He doesn't have to continue going to school. He's going to be looking for a job either way come May.
So....
LOL
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Post by Kizzume on Nov 2, 2007 2:03:09 GMT -5
I must have lost some details previously. Sorry about that.....
I can only speak for the info I know at this time, which maybe I've missed a bunch more like an airhead--but it would seem to me that continuing as a long-distance relationship would still be the best idea for a while--just wait until May and then it can become something bigger if y'all want it to be.
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Post by debateman on Nov 2, 2007 2:06:02 GMT -5
I'm just stressing it for no apparent reason. Already given it more time than it needs at this point. Typical Justin... LOL
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Post by Kizzume on Nov 2, 2007 2:14:58 GMT -5
As you said at the beginning--sometimes it's hard to be objective about things when it's one's own life. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to ask here.
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Post by jq on Nov 5, 2007 19:27:59 GMT -5
So, any updates on the situation? Have you with him yet?
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Post by Kizzume on Nov 10, 2007 0:24:51 GMT -5
Updates updates updates. Everybody chant now....
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Post by jen on Nov 10, 2007 9:03:33 GMT -5
lol, I just saw this thread, but will join in the chants...Updates!! Updates!
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Post by debateman on Nov 12, 2007 18:35:58 GMT -5
It's complicated...
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